When it comes to wedding planning, it’s usually the bride who gets asked all the fun questions. Like, which aunt do you think will get drunk the most? Or how many drones do you want in your drone light show?
A Groom-To-Be’s Ok-ish Guide on Wedding Planning
A Groom-To-Be’s Ok-ish Guide on Wedding Planning
By Jacky Ye, Lead Full Stack Developer
August 27, 2025
I actually enjoy being part of the process. For me, a wedding day is a celebration of you and your partner. What you have been. What you are. And what you will be together.
The Guest List
Our first step in planning was setting out the guest list. Who do we actually want to celebrate with us? Do I really care about that aunt who might have changed my diapers once, but I don’t even remember her? My mother might.
Sure, I could tell her I don’t want to invite that aunt, but is that a battle worth fighting? I love my mum, and I want her to enjoy the day without worrying about saving face. So in some cases, I’m happy to compromise.
What we’ve planned so far is far from a traditional wedding. Coming from immigrant families, we both want to honour our cultural traditions while also mixing in a bit of modernity. At the end of the day, if it’s a celebration about us, then we should get to decide what that looks like. Ignore the pressure if you can. Invite who you want. Do what feels right for you.
Venue, Food and Other Battles
Once we had the numbers locked in, we looked for a venue that could accommodate our numbers and to also match our aesthetic if possible. Food was a big factor for me. My family prefers sticking to cultural cuisine, even though I grew up with them pushing me to try food I already knew I disliked. My fiance wants a more modern looking venue and we talked about each of our preferences together, communication is always key to work out what each of us care about and how we can meet each other’s needs.
Honestly, the numbers and the venue was probably the most difficult part. Everything afterwards was tedious but less stressful. There are some things that many grooms like me wouldn’t really have any preference on but giving any kind of input is always appreciated no matter how irrelevant we think it is. I learnt a lot about forks. The prongs are called tines, and the gaps are called slots. Just help them pick a fork if they need it. Go with the one that stands out to you first, even if you don’t know why. Remember to pick your battles.
Our Aesthetic
Overall aesthetic, we are going for a minimalist, clean look with darker colours and neutrals like black, burgundy and greys. For the groomsmen and bridesmaids, we will be having the groomsmen in burgundy and our bridesmaids in black, just matching the overall theme.
The bridesmaids will most likely be wearing MESHKI. The fabric feels thicker and better quality than a lot of what we looked at, which is important since the wedding is in winter. I do not want anyone freezing halfway through the ceremony. They look good, they feel good, and that is pretty much all you can ask for on a day that goes for hours.
As for the wedding gown, that is still undecided. But whatever my fiancée chooses, I know she will look incredible.
Oh, and our cat daughter, Anya? She sadly will not be attending, but a cardboard cutout of her will make a cameo. Extremely important priority we both agreed on.
Final Note
Not everything is locked in yet. We still have about a year until the big day, and that’s okay. This process and all the weddings I’ve attended so far has taught me that weddings are messy, emotional and overwhelming.
Just remember, your wedding day is a celebration about the two of you coming together. It’s okay if things aren’t perfect. Nothing ever is.
Embrace the chaos, enjoy the imperfections, and make the most of the day. That’s what you’ll remember.
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